First let me say that I love this task. I love it when this task gets done. I especially enjoyed JJason's completion. But I wanted to crazy go nuts. I wanted to really go for it. And to some extent, I did. To some extent I failed. You be the judge.

That was the real beginning of this task for me, reading about it and imagining it. But the real first part was when I got an email from SPAR asking me to join in a new group. I read the idea behind the group, and I loved it. I love my group, The University of Aesthematics. But this new group promised that I could do UofA tasks all day with no limit to group restrictions. I see no reason why I couldn't Climb a Bridge in the manner befitting the UofA, or create Spam Poetry according to the rules of the UofA, or Confess to something in a truly Aesthematic way. So I decided to do a Biome task in a way befitting a student of The University of Aesthematics.

So this task completion is for the

Multilateral Task Exchange

(it is also for my anti-revolution and defense of the UofA)


OK, so I wrote to Stu mostly because I think she's a terrific tasker and a wonderful person and so I asked to use a task from her group. She happily agreed and I thank her for her help.

And if you hit play here, this makes fine task reading music:


So now with task in hand, I set out to complete it in an epic fashion. I knew what I needed, and I needed supplies.



So I bought 30 pounds of carrots (less than $20 thanks to my club card). That's 132 carrots.

First I decided to make some pants. I made the waistband first. I threaded a piece of bailing wire through the carrots to make my waistband.



It worked very well, but it wasn't enough.



I obviously needed another layer of carrots to cover up with.

I made the second layer, which was much much tougher to thread because I had to incorporate it into the first layer. Not easy. Plus I had never worked with carrots before. But I think I did alright for a first effort.



Once I had the second layer finished, I was amazed by how many carrots I had already used, and since I had to sew the second layer on while I was wearing it, to ensure a good fit and good coverage, I learned that it wasn't going to move too fluidly. So I gave up on making pants, and instead made a kilt. Not a utilikilt, because it wasn't very useful or comfortable at all.

I secured it to my body by tying the loose ends of bailing wire at my side.


But I soon found out after taking pictures of the two layer kilt, that two layers wasn't going to cut it if I was to wear it for a day.



Mostly because I'm a wimp and didn't want to be thrown in jail. I'm not afraid of getting arrested in the name of good tasking, and I'm for nudity, especially public nudity as I believe is well documented, but I would hate to wind up in jail only wearing this carrot kilt, so I decided to add a third layer for a bit more coverage.



Perfect. So then I start work on the chest piece. I decide to make a chest piece, because I don't have nearly enough carrots for a jacket like I had hoped to make. But I think a Native American style chest piece will work just fine, and I plan out all of the steps before I start wiring it together.


I try on the neck supports to see if they fit.


They do!

So I secure the chest piece to the carrot straps.


Now that it's built, I try it on. I wear it for the rest of the night, even though it's uncomfortable. Tomorrow I'm gonna take it out for a spin.

So, when I wake up, I put it on, and do the shit I need to do in the day. When it's time for me to go out and run my errands, I encounter a problem, I can't really sit on it, or it breaks. So driving with it on isn't very practical. So I take it off to drive and put it in the back of the truck.


This idea is good except that all I really want is to wear carrots and nothing else, I have to drive in the nude. Which is fine with me (I had some stunt pants in the back seat in case I was pulled over or something), but the hard part was getting where I was going and having to get out of the truck to put on my carrotkilt. Which I had to do naked. Which sucked. And I only did it once when I went to the bank. I parked in a well hidden corner of the parking lot, and went to the ATM. And I didn't take pictures because I didn't want to also carry a camera as I had to carry my keys and wallet already. I didn't know how to make carrot pockets. I did take one picture of me naked going for the carrotkilt in the parking lot. You can see me naked in the reflection I think.


I also wear it much less than I think I will. As night falls, I put a jacket on for a little bit.


But it is very very cold here in L.A. for some strange reason. It was far too cold to wear the carrots through the night, so again I take it off to sleep.


When I awake, I wait a bit for it to warm up, and then don the garment again, it has gotten a bit discolored, and the carrots are no longer stiff, the carrots have shrunk considerably, and it is no longer safe to wear out in public. So after my cumulative 24 hours are up, I decide to feed myself to some bunnies.

***Update***

December 27, 2007
This is what was left of the carrotkilt after I fed it to the bunnies for four days.